The Value of Intelligence in Love

Ante scriptum: “Which is the value of intelligence in love?” For months I had been trying to give an answer to this dilemma. I rewrote this article three times but, every time, I couldn’t find the right words. It is very hard to intelligently speak about love, what to say about intelligently speaking about love while weighting the value of intelligence in the same time.  After all, love is an unspeakable feeling, which you cannot describe in words. And then, what should I do? “An image values as 1000 words”, it is said.

Tulcea, 1954

Look at those two people, my grandparents. They lived together 58 years, minus some days. Their separation was hard, very hard, but not for the one who departed but for the one who stayed behind.


Why did those two people loved? Why?

What was more powerful – love or intelligence? It is about an instinct or consciousness?

When everything that can be tied to the memory of her lost husband is for my grandmother valuable, unpriceable, do you think this is due to a feeling, not a judgment?

Why does a widow mourns her beloved? Because of a suffering, a pain, or a thought, some thoughts?

Why does love, the sentiment of affection between a man and a woman, transforms into dearness for everything than can be tied to the beloved – objects or even beings?

Is it a reason? Is it? Intelligence? But who to know!…. you know Who.

Faith, for example, what is it? The product of sense or knowledge?


I don’t have a conclusion. Such dilemmas cannot be solved by mind.

We cannot define dearness, not with words.

Love, even more powerful, cannot even be manifested as we would like.

What is it?

As says a romantic novelist whose quote will touch you deep, stimulating either dearness, either intelligence, either both with the same intensity: “What is love? Not even the most learned man could explain this to the one who didn’t feel, and the one who knows the answer doesn’t need words to give it” (Jókai Mór)


Post scriptum: The word “dearness” (“dragoste”, in Romanian) is defined by the author of this article as the sentiment of affection for an object, a living being, an idea, while the word “love” (“iubire”, in Romanian) is used as the the sentiment of dearness only for the beloved person (the “soul mate”).


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